Not going anywhere

After neglecting my journal for more than six weeks because I no longer saw the value of doing the writing, I had an interesting dream

I’m mentoring a young woman, but I have this feeling we’re going nowhere. So I “forget” to make a new appointment for about two months. Finally, out of a sense of responsibility, I contact her to make a new appointment. She immediately claims two appointments to make up for the one we missed. I feel uncomfortable with this and explain to her that you can’t make up for lost time. But her demand comes across as both naive and greedy.

It wasn’t until I started writing the dream out in my journal that I saw the correlation between no longer seeing the value of journaling and the sense of not going anywhere with the mentoring in the dream.

When we are on this long journey of learning to see and accept ourselves as who we really are, we can (and usually do) run into some nasty traps. One of the traps is this sense that we’re not making any progress. This can lead us to a feeling of hopelessness, even depression.

It can also prompt us to go “therapy-hopping”, looking for a quick fix, instant healing, a spiritual bypass. I wrote about this in my blog A Peevish Post and was very happy to see that the author and spiritualist Jeff Brown discusses it in his new book An Uncommon Bond. He calls it New Cage, a trap many New Age followers fall into.

Another trap is thinking we have reached our goal and no longer need to grow. Please don’t misunderstand me. Taking time to stop and smell the roses, to simply enjoy being who you are and where you are, is incredibly important. But my tendency, when the call comes to leave my comfort zone once again and head out on a new path of discovery, is to think, Come on, I’m old and wise enough, aren’t I?

In the meantime, I will thoroughly enjoy my present (retired) life as a nature photographer, writer, and artist. However, I will go back to journaling and pay more careful attention to the signs that there might be something to learn around the corner.


  1. Mary Lou Gillette

    Dear Maddi,
    I have so enjoyed your blogs! You have shared your feelings and experiences with courage and honesty, and given your readers the encouragement to do the same. Your every post reflects how deeply you care for nature and humanity. You enrich our lives through your writings, your photography, and your art. I thank you for all of these, and wish you the joy of following your heart as you greet each new day! And, I thank you for being you!

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